What It Means to Attend: Presence, Healing, and Self-Acceptance | Chapter 32 of Scattered Minds by Gabor Maté

Welcome to Last Minute Lecture’s summary of the final chapter from Scattered Minds by Dr. Gabor Maté. In Chapter 32, Dr. Maté offers a profound meditation on what it truly means to attend—not just in the cognitive sense, but as an act of love, presence, and healing for those living with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD).

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Attending as an Act of Love and Presence

Dr. Maté opens the final chapter with the story of Elizabeth, a woman who spent her life “pretending to be normal.” Her journey reflects the experience of many adults with ADD—living in fear of being exposed as different and striving to fit in by suppressing their true selves. The chapter reveals that healing is not about erasing difference, but embracing it, and that attention is not merely a skill but an act of love.

Self-Acceptance and the Lifelong Healing Journey

Maté powerfully asserts that healing from ADD is not a quick fix or a single breakthrough—it is a lifelong process of showing up for oneself and others. The real work is to extend presence and compassion toward our pain, our history, and our uniqueness, instead of masking or rejecting what makes us different.

• Attention and love are intertwined: To attend is to love, and to love is to accept all parts of ourselves, even the difficult ones.
• Enduring emotions, not avoiding them: Healing requires us to feel, endure, and integrate emotional pain rather than hide from it.
• Presence for children and adults: Both need presence, not just protection from feelings—genuine connection comes from being with, not fixing.

Key Insights and Lessons from Chapter 32

• Attention is an ongoing practice, not a one-time achievement
• The fear of being different often leads to shame and self-rejection
• Healing is found in embracing uniqueness and emotional honesty
• Children and adults thrive when they experience love as presence
• Society must learn to honor and support neurodivergent experiences, not force conformity

For the full reflection, watch the video above and revisit earlier chapters in the Scattered Minds YouTube playlist.

Conclusion: The Real Meaning of Attending

Chapter 32 brings Dr. Maté’s message full circle: True healing is a continuous act of attention—of showing up for ourselves, our children, and our pain with compassion. By embracing presence and self-acceptance, we move beyond shame and begin to experience the wholeness that lies at the heart of recovery from ADD.

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Explore the complete Scattered Minds YouTube playlist here for every chapter summary.